Monday, December 24, 2007

Chuck vs. the Future - Chapter 7: "Good Morning, and Good God"

January 1st, 2519

Alliance cruiser Columbia

Captain Omar Yagosian was sure his ship was being invaded by the crazies.

He had in front of him three people claiming to be intelligence agents from the now-defunct United States of America – Sarah Walker, an agent with the Central Intelligence Agency, Bryce Larkin, also a CIA agent, who claimed he had been seconded to the National Security Agency, and Major John Casey, a United States Air Force intelligence officer who had also been seconded to the National Security Agency.

He didn’t believe a damn one of them. “Here’s why I don’t believe any of you,” he said. “First of all, the CIA ceased to exist over 200 years ago. Secondly, NSA agents always travel in pairs, and they always wear these weird blue gloves that can be manipulated to create any sort of fingerprint. You two who claim to be with the NSA arrived individually, and neither of you is wearing any sort of gloves.”

He shook his head. “I’m not sure if you’re all insane, or if you’re spies, or rebels, or what. And how the hell did you get hold of a car and a space shuttle that are both more than 500 years old?”

“I’m afraid I can’t tell you that,” Sarah said.

Captain Yagosian threw his hands in the air and exhaled the sigh of a frustrated man. “What am I supposed to do with you? The Geneva Conventions say I pretty much can’t do a damn thing –“

He was interrupted by a lieutenant tapping his shoulder. He turned to face the lieutenant, who whispered in his ear and handed him a print-out. Captain Yagosian read over it. His right eyebrow arched in disbelief.

“Well… this was in the NSA archive,” he said. “It’s essentially a hunting license, issued to one Special Agent Bryce Larkin, with no ending date. It says here that you’re authorized to hunt down insurgents and rebels attempting to breach national security, and that your authorized associates are… Agent Sarah Walker, Major John Casey, and Charles Bartowski. And… these pictures are definitely you.”

He paused. “So where’s this Mr. Bartowski?”

“We’re looking for him,” Bryce said. “He was kidnapped by an insurgent organization known as Fulcrum, and we’re trying to recover him.”

“I… see,” Captain Yagosian said, still not sure whether or not he believed it. “Here’s the thing. The three of you have birthdates listed in 1981, 1982, and 1974, respectively. That makes you all more than 500 years old.”

Bryce, Sarah, and Casey all simply stared back at Captain Yagosian.

“I guess that would explain how you have the 1977 Pontiac and the space shuttle Enterprise,” he said. “Quite frankly, I’m still not sure whether to believe you… but Agent Larkin has a special sanction from the NSA, and I really don’t have a choice in the matter.”

He sighed. “I’ll arrange for the Pontiac to be placed in the cargo bay of your shuttle, and I’ll arrange to have it retrofitted with lasers and an identification computer.

“I’m not sure what you people are all about,” he stated, giving them all a hard look, “but keep your noses clean, or you will be answering to me.”

“Yes sir,” Bryce said. “Thank you for your help.”

Sarah stood and nodded. Casey stood and saluted. “Captain Yagosian,” he said.

“Major Casey.”


10:58 A.M.

January 1st, 2519

transport Serenity

Wakefulness slowly came to Chuck Bartowski. His eyes slowly opened, letting the light in. No headache, that was a good sign. He looked down…

And saw a mass of red hair resting on his chest.

Huh?

He peeked under the covers. He and Kaylee were both still fully clothed.

Chuck wasn’t sure whether to be relieved or disappointed. Relieved, perhaps, because he had apparently had enough to drink that he did not remember winding up back in his quarters with Kaylee. Disappointed, perhaps, because, well, duh, he thought. Who wouldn’t be disappointed?

Then a thought struck him. Sarah wouldn’t be disappointed about it.

You have to stop thinking that way, he told himself. You agreed to just be friends, not to mention which, you’re in the 26th century.

He tried to move gently, to avoid disturbing Kaylee. He was, however, unsuccessful, as she opened her eyes and looked up at him.

A little smile appeared on her lips. “Good morning,” she said sleepily, but with a happy undertone.

“Good morning,” Chuck said, unable to keep from smiling back at her. “How do you feel?”

“Not too bad, all things considered,” she replied. “Umm… so, I don’t remember… did we…”

“Not as far as I know,” Chuck replied. “I don’t remember anything much after about 1:00 AM… but we’re both fully clothed, and none of my muscles are sore, so…”

“None… none of your muscles are sore?” Kaylee asked, confused.

“Oh, yeah, it’s not an official ‘Night with Chuck Bartowski’ unless one of the two parties ends up with at least a minor injury.”

“How about a ‘Morning with Chuck Bartowski’? Does that involve injury?”

“What do you mean?”

By way of reply, Kaylee rolled over, swung her left leg over Chuck, straddling him, and leaned down, kissing him deeply. He responded in kind, and she moaned softly as his tongue invaded her mouth. His hands were roaming quickly up the back of her shirt when there was a knock on his door.

Kaylee pulled back and sat up. “Damn,” she said disappointedly. But then, she got a look of mischief in her eyes.

Standing up, she mussed up her hair, and then shifted her jeans around a little to make it look like she had just put them on hurriedly. Crossing to the door, she opened it, to reveal Captain Reynolds.

He had opened his mouth to speak as the door opened, and his jaw just hang there, gaping, as he looked at Kaylee. “Morning, Captain!” Chuck called from his bed.

“What’s the matter, Mal, cat got your tongue?” Kaylee asked playfully.

Finally finding the composure to close his mouth, Mal did so, and after a further moment, said, “You know, I’m gonna go… Chuck… uh, when you have a moment, I wanted to talk to… well, actually, both of you, about something… uh… yeah. See you in a few.”


When Mal came onto the bridge, he still had a look of confusion on his face. Zoe turned to look at him, and noticed. “What’s up, Mal?” she asked.

“Well, I just stopped by Chuck’s quarters to talk to him about doing some work on some of the computers… since that’s what he did back in his time… and, well, Kaylee answered the door… and, um… well, there may or may not have been some hanky-panky going on in those quarters last night.”

Zoe fixed Mal with an odd look. “Why are you so flustered about this, Mal? You’ve actually caught her in the act before! That’s how she came to be on this ship!”

“Yeah, but that was before I knew her… and good Lord, she seems like my younger sister now… yeah.”

Zoe just shook her head. “Yes, but little sisters grow up, Mal. And apparently, she chose… hmmm.”

Picking up the microphone for the intercom, she keyed the switch and said, “Now hear this! Kaylee Frye has been observed in the romantic company of a man nearly 500 years her senior! Any further observed activities should be captured on video for potential blackmail purposes.”

River turned in the pilot’s seat and looked at Zoe. “Simon’s not gonna like that.”


Simon just lay in his bed, looking at the ceiling. “Eh, all’s fair in love and war. I’d lift my glass to you, Chuck, if I had a glass or if you were here.”
Chuck watched Kaylee worriedly. “You’re not pissed, are you?”

Kaylee turned and glared at him… and then her gaze softened as she almost giggled. “Oh, no. Zoe does this kind of thing all the time. I’ll get her back later, trust me.”


2:07 P.M.

January 1st, 2519

Space Shuttle Enterprise

The Enterprise had lifted off from the Columbia just a few minutes earlier. Captain Yagosian, true to his word, had retrofitted Enterprise with laser cannons and a computer that would allow them to identify other ships. He had also loaded Bryce’s Trans Am into the cargo bay and had a pressurized cell installed that would allow them to keep the Fulcrum man confined.

Major Lorenz and Captain Tweedum were back in the pilots’ seats, though neither of them were in spacesuits this time. Sarah, Bryce, and Casey were riding in mission specialists’ seats. Major Lorenz had expressed concern about bringing Bryce along, saying that his presence and that of the Fulcrum man would leave them with no spare spacesuits in the event of an emergency. “So don’t have an emergency,” Casey had growled, getting grumpy as his stomach started rebelling against zero G’s.

Captain Yagosian had recommended they try going to the planet Persephone, saying that you could find out just about anything about anybody on that planet. So that’s where the Enterprise was headed. Major Lorenz keyed his microphone for standard approach frequency.

“This is shuttle Enterprise to Eavesdown Docks approach. We are requesting clearance for landing.”

“Enterprise, this is Eavesdown Docks. Are you a hovercraft or an aircraft?”

“Eavesdown Docks, this is Enterprise. We are an aircraft and will require a landing strip.”

“Enterprise, you are cleared to land on runway 22 left. Please switch to frequency 191.7 for further instructions.”

“Eavesdown Docks, Enterprise copies.”

“Apparently they still use standard VHF radio,” Bryce remarked with some amount of surprise.

“They’re humans, they’re supposedly originally from Earth, and they’re from a descendant government from the United States,” Casey said. “It makes more sense than you seem to realize.”

“Oh, can’t we just get along, Casey?” Bryce said sarcastically. “Or is that too much for your military mind to handle?”

“We’ll get along just fine when you’re dead,” Casey snapped back. “They say third try’s the charm!”

“THAT IS ENOUGH, BOTH OF YOU,” Sarah intoned angrily, shooting both men looks of death. “You are professional agents and you will by God cooperate.”

“What, you think you’re in charge now, Sarah?” Casey asked.

“Actually… yes. By the authority granted me by General Beckman at the start of this mission, I am declaring that both of you are unfit for command. I am taking command of this mission. You will both follow my orders, or I will stick my Taser so far up your ass –“

“Sarah, calm down,” Bryce said in a soothing tone.

“Shut up, Bryce,” she replied. “And so help me God, if you try to seduce me again, mister, I will kick your ass all the way back to the 21st century.”

With that, Sarah looked forward and didn’t say another word. After the shuttle had landed and come to a stop in the terminal area, she stood up, said, “Unload the Trans Am and meet me outside,” and stormed down the stairway that had been rolled up to the shuttle door.

After she was out the door, there was an awkward silence, finally broken by Captain Tweedum. “Christ,” he uttered.

“I do not envy you guys,” Major Lorenz said, trying to keep a straight face. “Good luck.”

“What, we don’t get backup?” Casey asked.

“Sorry, buddy,” Lorenz said. “You guys are on your own with Psychotic Agent Woman. Tweedum and I have to chase down supplies and make sure the heat shield is in good enough shape for the next time we come through an atmosphere.”

Bryce and Casey looked at each other for a long moment. Finally, Bryce said, “Let’s get the Pontiac unloaded and get out of here.”

“Roger that.”

No comments: