Saturday, April 6th, 2030
8:32 AM
Redondo Beach, California
The driver’s door of the Range Rover opened.
“Get out.”
“What?”
“I’m driving. Get out. Get in another seat. Back seat, shotgun, I don’t care.”
Jack reluctantly moved.
Ianto got in, and the door slammed shut. He gripped the wheel tightly for a moment.
“Would you mind telling me what that was all about?”
“What what was all about?”
“Your BEHAVIOR in there! It was childish and asinine! Must you hit on absolutely everybody we encounter?”
“Hey, I’m sorry! I was just being me!”
“No, you were being Juan Valdez, Jack. Mal told me how much coffee you had on the flight over.”
“I was tired!”
“Jack, you KNOW what caffeine does to you!”
“Chuck, what was that all about?”
“What was what all about?”
“I can’t believe you were so cavalier about the fact that they walked in us having sex. And I also can’t believe you were going to call it ‘nookie’!”
“I’m sorry, Kaylee. I was… I guess… I don’t know. I had a flash when they walked in, and that hasn’t happened in a couple of months. I guess it just gave me a headache, made me cranky.”
“A flash is no excuse for being a jerk!”
“I was not being a jerk!”
“Okay, yes, I’m aware what caffeine does to me. I thought I could control myself, though.”
“That’s a sign of addiction, Jack. You have to admit that all power does not reside with you.”
“Ianto, I’m immortal. I think I have a bit of power.”
“But you don’t have the discipline to control it! You are undisciplined, Jack! And that is why you’re still the section commander of an outpost in Cardiff, while I’ve risen to the top of the organization!”
“Excuse me?!”
“And what’s more, why did you THINK I broke up with you? I can’t have a relationship with somebody as out-of-control and undisciplined as you are most of the time!”
“Fine, if you weren’t being a jerk, then what was that?”
“I don’t know… I guess… maybe I was just embarrassed.”
“Embarrassed about what? Having Sarah see you?”
“No, I guess I was just embarrassed about the three guys walking in on us.”
Silence.
“Chuck, why weren’t you embarrassed about Sarah seeing you?”
“Oh, I’M UNDISCIPLINED?! I’m sorry, but who drives 150 miles for a midnight snog every time he has an argument with his wife?!”
“Well, you’re one to talk, the man who spent two catatonic WEEKS in my flat after Gwen Cooper died and ends up drunk in my backyard every year on the anniversary of her death!”
Silence.
“How dare you. HOW FUCKING DARE YOU!”
“Uh… well… it’s not the first time she’s seen me naked.”
“Really.”
“Yeah.”
“And in exactly what context has she seen you naked before?”
“Well…”
“You’ve had sex with her, haven’t you.”
“Kaylee…”
“You FUCKED her, didn’t you?!”
“Kaylee, it was years ago!”
“Oh, but you held her in your arms and whispered sweet nothings in her ear, the same sweet nothings you whispered to me onboard Serenity, didn’t you?!”
“What does it matter?! Are you seriously going to stand there and tell me that I’m the only man you’ve ever slept with?!”
“THAT’S BESIDE THE POINT! THE POINT IS THAT WE’VE BEEN MARRIED FOR ELEVEN YEARS AND YOU NEVER FUCKING ONCE MENTIONED IT!”
She paused for breath.
“I have been completely honest with you about my entire life, and you never brought it upon yourself to even mention it, you gao yang jong duh goo yang!”
“I loved her, you son of a bitch!”
“She was married!”
“So?!”
“Well, Captain Harkness, that might not have mattered much to you, but it matters to some people!”
“So what are you saying, Director Jones? Are you saying that I’m a whore of some sort?”
“Well, yes, Jack, maybe I am.”
“Well, Ianto, at least I never kept any SECRETS ABOUT LOVERS FROM YOU!”
Silence.
“You’re talking about Lisa. You’re talking about Lisa, aren’t you, you piece of shit! IT’S BEEN OVER TWENTY YEARS, JACK! LET IT GO!”
“Kaylee…”
“Shut up.”
“No. I will not shut up. I need you to listen to me.”
Silence, but a shrug of acquiescence.
“I never told you about me and Sarah, because it never occurred to me to do so. I told you about the things in my life that were important. Sure, I cared about Sarah, but the sex with her… it just wasn’t something important enough to me to bring it into our relationship.”
It seemed like he was getting through, because Kaylee turned to face Chuck, a little bit of a hopeful look forming on her face.
“Did you tell Sarah about me, after you came back the first time?”
A grin slowly played across Chuck’s face.
“Every lurid detail.”
Jack realized he had crossed the line. Ianto was right. He was undisciplined, and he was taking it out on the man who was his superior and had once been his lover.
He sighed.
“Ianto… I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that.”
Ianto’s voice was cold.
“I know you didn’t, Jack. But you can’t keep doing this. You can’t keep ripping people open and then thinking they’ll forgive you. You’ve done it to me, you did it to Gwen, you did it to Martha, you even did it to the Doctor. You’ve got to stop.”
“I know.”
Ianto started up the Range Rover, put it into drive, and pulled away from the curb.
Kaylee wrapped her arms around Chuck’s neck, pulled herself up a little bit, and slowly kissed him. He returned the favor, except that his hands also started to roam up the back of her shirt.
“Knock it off, mister. I’m still a little mad at you…”
“Oh, we have the best sex when you’re mad.”
“Chuck. We have to pack. We have to figure out what we’re going to do with the kids…”
“It can wait five minutes…”
And when they reached the bedroom, she was quickly convinced that yes, indeed, it could wait five minutes.
