Warning: this chapter includes content that may not be appropriate for younger readers.
Reader discretion is advised.
1:25 P.M.
February 13th, 2519
transport Serenity
Chuck had a plan.
Contrary to what Jayne and Mal both thought, it was not a plan to get laid. It was simply a plan to make Kaylee happy.
Of course, he still hadn’t answered the question Inara had asked him – to her, or to himself – what was he going to do if his people from the 21st century showed up?
He pushed the thought from his head. He had his hand buried deep in the guts of the Herder, back behind where the stereo head unit would ordinarily be.
Almost a month prior, he had told Kaylee that he would wire up a SDM card reader to the Herder’s stereo so that they could listen to music on modern media when they were in the card. That is what he had finally gotten around to doing.
Not that he hadn’t been doing better things with his time. He had rewired almost every computer-controlled system on Serenity, cleaning up the awful tangles of wires and making them run more efficiently to boot. Serenity was probably in the best shape, electrically, that she’d been in since Mal had bought her.
As he slid the Herder’s head unit back into its slot, his iPhone rang. Stretching his arm across to where he had left it on the other side of the dashboard, he hit the answer button and then the speaker button. “Yo!”
“Chuck, this is Inara.”
“Hi, Inara!” Chuck said. “How’s it goin’?”
“I am going to be arriving back at Serenity in about forty minutes,” she replied. “I’ve got the things you asked me for.”
“Oh, thank you thank you thank you,” Chuck gushed. “I can’t thank you enough for getting all that for me.”
“Well, I was going to be on Persephone anyway, so I was happy to help,” she said. “And if it makes Kaylee happy…”
“…which it will,” Chuck said. “How much do I owe you?”
“Don’t worry about it.”
“No, seriously,” Chuck insisted. “I’ve got six hundred plus credits burning a hole in my pocket.”
“Chuck,” Inara said with a laugh, “you don’t owe me anything. I’m happy to help you out. I think it’s cute.”
“Well, okay,” Chuck said reluctantly. “If you insist.”
“I do,” Inara replied. “There better not be any money that mysteriously shows up in my shuttle, either.”
“I can’t promise you anything,” Chuck laughed. “So, just watch out to make sure those sneaky gremlins don’t leave any credits in your shuttle.”
“Riiight,” Inara replied. “I’ll see you in a few.”
Chuck hung up the phone and finished screwing the head unit’s anchor screws back into the Herder. He popped the trim frame back on, and, satisfied with his work, popped the hood. He got out, reattached the battery, and sitting back down in the driver’s seat, flipped the key over to accessories. The stereo fired right up.
Chuck opened the glovebox. After idiotically kicking Kaylee out of the car a few weeks earlier, he had returned to the Earth-that-was shop and bought a bunch of old music SDM cards – Elvis, AC/DC, Green Day, Pearl Jam, Arcade Fire, The Ataris, Maroon 5, Switchfoot – all music that he thought Kaylee should get to experience.
Selecting the Ataris' “So Long Astoria,” he slipped it into the SDM reader, and was greeted by the opening electric guitar riff of the title track, which he quickly shut off before the rest of the band kicked in. It appeared to work just fine, and that was very good.
Chuck got back out of the Herder, shut the door, and closed the hood. Smiling, he headed out of the cargo bay. He still had some work to do.
2:15 P.M.
shuttle Enterprise
Utopia Planitia Shipyard, Persephone
After ten days, Enterprise was finally ready to go. Sarah had been at the shuttle before Major Lorenz or Captain Tweedum got there. She was up in the cockpit while they were doing pre-flight, ostensibly working on her report of the whole mission, but in reality, trying to subconsciously encourage Lorenz and Tweedum to do pre-flight as quickly as they could.
At about 2:30, Casey and Bryce showed up, in the company of two Alliance soldiers, who were guarding Mullins, the Fulcrum man. He was cuffed, but once he was led up into the shuttle and then into his cell, Casey told them to uncuff him – after all, he was going to be locked up.
As Casey turned to head back into the shuttle, the door to the cell swung shut behind him. Mullins, moving quickly, slid his sharpened piece of plastic out from under the bed, and slid it between the door latch and the strike plate. As the door closed, it looked like it was fully shut and locked, but in reality, Mullins could get out with ease. He was going to wait, though. He would wait until Enterprise was far enough out in space that no Alliance goons could show up to answer a distress signal.
“Okay, so we’ve got a transponder code for Serenity now,” Major Lorenz said. “I’m told that it’s actually illegal for any ship other than Alliance cruisers to be in possession of those, but Agent Larkin’s warrant there apparently goes a long way.”
“Thank you, thank you,” Bryce said, faking a bow.
“We’ve got a position for them,” Lorenz continued. “It’s about two days’ travel from here.”
“Well, then, by all means, let’s go!” Sarah insisted. She was getting a little antsy. If they could find this Inara Serra woman, she could almost certainly tell them where Chuck was. Maybe he was even onboard this Serenity ship!
“Enterprise to Utopia Planitia Control,” Lorenz radioed.
“Go ahead, Enterprise.”
“Requesting clearance for takeoff.”
“Clearance granted. Safe sailing, Enterprise. No offense, but we don’t want to see you back for repairs for a while.”
“Thank you, Utopia Planitia. We’ll try to not fall apart.”
With clearance granted, Captain Tweedum pushed the throttle level up to full. The pulse drive purred to life – in considerably better condition than it was even when the mission started – and Enterprise leapt forward. Major Lorenz lifted her off the runway fairly quickly, and she was on her way again.
We’re coming for you, Chuck, Sarah thought. We’ll see you soon.
6:30 P.M.
February 14th, 2519
transport Serenity
Kaylee was down in the engine room, sitting in her hammock and reading a book. There was nothing wrong with the engines, nor did she anticipate there to be, but she had found it wise to stay with the engines when Serenity was crossing open space.
Snape had just sent Dumbledore tumbling from the paraments of Hogwart’s with the avada kevadra curse when Kaylee’s reading was interrupted by the intercom. “Kaylee, please come to the control room,” Mal’s voice sounded over the intercom.
Setting her book down, Kaylee headed for the bridge. As she passed through the mess, she totally failed to notice the flurry of movement behind her.
Reaching the bridge, she found the remote control for the Herder, next to a small note that was pinned to… a fresh strawberry?!
Picking up both the remote and the strawberry, she removed the note, and popped the fruit into her mouth. “Mmmm,” she moaned as the sweetness hit her tongue. Kaylee then turned her attention to the note.
"You learned about an ancient holiday awhile back," the note said. "Now it's time to take a holiday adventure.
“Push the button, and follow the yellow brick road.”
Kaylee pushed the door unlock button on the remote. No luck. Neither with the door lock button, or the tailgate button. So she hit the panic button –
And a series of yellow lights, shaped like bricks, lit up along the floor, headed out of the control room.
Kaylee followed the lights back out of the control room, and down the hallway. They stopped in front of the doorway to her quarters, with the last one shaped in an arrow pointed toward her quarters. With a confused look, she opened the door to her quarters and headed down the ladder.
As soon as Kaylee’s door swung shut behind her, River dropped silently from the position she had been holding herself in, arms and legs braced against the walls, just below the ceiling.
Reaching in the bag she was holding, she grabbed sunflower petals, and ran down the hallway, scattering them every which way as she headed toward Inara’s shuttle.
When Kaylee descended to her quarters, she found something that made her draw her breath in sharply.
There was another note pinned to a strawberry, but that wasn’t it. What surprised her was the slinky little strapless black cocktail dress hanging where her big pink frilly dress usually was. “Wow,” she breathed.
Picking up the note, she ate the next strawberry. God, those were good. “Only women of good taste can wear a dress such as this,” the note said. “Picked by one woman of good taste for another. Dress yourself up, and then remember: the flowers are your friend.”
Quickly shucking her coveralls, Kaylee soon discovered herself dressed in the engineer's new clothes. Looking in the mirror, she quickly did what she could with her hair. Stepping back, she admired herself fully.
“God DAMN I look good,” she said to herself. Then, she realized that she had just said goddamn. “That boy is really getting to me,” she breathed.
Then she looked down. A pair of black heels that couldn’t be described in any way other than “sexy”. “No way I’m climbing up the ladder with those on,” she said to no one in particular.
Kaylee climbed up the ladder barefoot, and when she reached the hallway, slipped the shoes on. Then she realized there was a trail of sunflower petals leading down the hallway. “The flowers are your friend,” she breathed softly.
She followed the sunflower petals to the door of Inara’s shuttle. She was about to knock, when she saw the note on the door: Come in, Kaylee.
Pushing the door open, she found the shuttle empty, save for another strawberry with a note pinned to it, and an SDM card. “I round up the nerds,” she read, popping the strawberry into her mouth. “Come play your music in me.”
I round up the nerds?
“Oh, of course,” she said. “The Herder… for the Nerd Herd!”
She headed back out of the shuttle, and Inara popped up from behind her bed. “Okay, she just left the shuttle,” she whispered into her headset.
“Excellent,” she heard back. “This is awesome.”
When Kaylee entered the cargo bay, she saw the Herder parked in the middle of the floor, rather than in its usual spot. She approached it, and then…
“Oh, damn,” she muttered, “I left the remote in my quarters.”
No sooner had she said that than the headlights of the Herder blinked, and the horn beeped briefly. “Oh,” Kaylee said. She approached the Herder and tried the driver’s door – unlocked.
Another strawberry, note pinned to it, was sitting on the armrest in the middle. “God, I love these things,” she murmured, popping it into her mouth, as she read the note.
“A confession on a dashboard,” the note said. “When the time comes, just say hello.”
Sitting down in the driver’s seat, she found the keys in the ignition. She turned them to accessories – and then saw the little SDM reader mounted on the dashboard. Her face broke into a big smile. “He finally did it!” she squealed with glee.
She slipped the SDM card into the reader. A song she hadn’t heard before poured from the speakers.
She listened intently to the words. It sounded like it might be a romantic song, talking about the last weekend of the season and so on. However, she definitely realized the point of the song when it reached the chorus – a simple five word phrase communicated its theme.
“You have stolen my heart, you have stolen my heart.”
A smile spread across her lips, and her eyes began to fill with tears. Just as they were about to spill over, she heard something warble, and the music automatically cut out.
Looking down, she realized that Chuck’s iPhone was docked in the car. “I don’t know how to answ- oh, okay,” she said, realization of the meaning of the note dawning on her.
“Hello?”
“Hello, Kaylee,” Mal’s voice said.
“Mal?” Kaylee was confused. “Yours was certainly not the voice I expected to hear.”
“Kaylee, I am ordering you to take tomorrow off,” Mal responded. “Tonight as well. In fact, right now, I want you to go to the crew mess.”
“Uh, okay,” she replied. “I’ll do that right now.”
“Good,” Mal said. “Make sure you turn the car off and take the phone with you.”
“Will do,” Kaylee said.
So, she turned off the Herder, grabbed Chuck’s phone, stepped out of the car, and shut the door behind her. Heading back toward the front of the ship, she entered the crew mess –
And it looked like it never had before. Two plates, set directly across from each other, a bottle of wine on the table, a bouquet of sunflowers in the middle of the table, two candles burning – and Chuck in a suit and tie.
“Oh, wow,” she breathed. “This is… wow. Just wow.”
Chuck crossed the room to Kaylee. “Happy Valentine’s Day,” he said, then put his arms around her back, pulled her to him, and kissed her. She wrapped her arms around the back of his neck and leaned in.
After a moment, she pulled back. She opened her eyes, and looked up into Chuck’s eyes. “I…”
Her voice got quiet. “I love you, Chuck Bartowski.”
Chuck looked down at her, keeping eye contact for what seemed like an eternity. Finally, his lips parted.
“Kaywinnit Lee Frye… I love you too.”
9:22 P.M.
shuttle Enterprise
Mullins had finally finished his plan. He was going to take out Casey first, then Larkin and Walker. He would hold the two astronauts at gunpoint, force them to fly him to Serenity, kill Bartowski, and then, he didn’t know. He’d probably die, but as long as Bartowski was gone, so much the better.
He slowly opened his door a crack. Peering out, he saw that Casey was floating there, right in front of him, with his back to him.
Grinning evilly, Mullins slammed the door open. The impact knocked Casey against the wall. He turned to face Mullins, and Mullins stabbed his plastic shank directly into Casey’s gut.
Casey grabbed his stomach in surprise, and Mullins punched him with an uppercut, knocking his head into the wall. Casey dropped to the floor, unconscious. Mullins reached under Casey’s jacket and removed his gun from its holster.
Floating up the ladder to the cockpit, he announced his presence by shouting, “NOBODY FUCKING MOVE!”
Everybody whirled to face him. Then everybody’s hands shot up in the air.
“Okay, Mullins, what are you doing?” Bryce inquired quietly.
“What the fuck does it look like I’m doing?” Mullins spat. “I’m taking you fuckers out, and then it’s bye-bye Bartowski!”
“Oh, the hell,” Sarah said. Using one foot to shove off the wall, she flew into Mullins, trying to get the gun away from him.
Sarah got one hand around his wrist, and used her other arm to get him in a headlock, but desperate, he started shooting.
“Oh shit!” Bryce said, trying to take cover.
One bullet hit Captain Tweedum in the left shoulder, another hit his console, causing it to spit sparks into the air, and a third hit Major Lorenz just below his right ear. He pitched forward onto his control yoke, blood floating into the air.
Sarah finally put an elbow into Mullins’ nose. He let go of the gun, clasping his hands to his face. Sarah grabbed the gun out of mid-air, aimed it at Mullins’ forehead, and shot him at point blank range.
11:45 P.M.
transport Serenity
Chuck and Kaylee were in Inara’s shuttle. Dinner had led to dancing had led to music and making out in the Herder had led to here. Kaylee had initially expressed concern about being there, but Chuck assured her he had Inara’s permission.
The moving hadn’t ended the making out. Oh no. Chuck’s hands had found their way to the middle of Kaylee’s back, and his fingers were on the zipper tab.
Ever so slowly, he moved the zipper downward, fully opening the back of Kaylee’s dress. With no support left, it slipped off her, leaving her in a tiny little strapless black bra and thong, with Chuck’s tie dangling loosely from her neck, where it had been for the last hour and a half or so.
The new ensemble shocked Chuck a little. “Wow,” he said. “I don’t remember asking Inara to get anything like that for you.”
“Well, she did,” Kaylee said with a little giggle. “You thought of the dress from a male perspective. Inara thought of it from the female perspective.”
She gently laid her fingers on Chuck’s collar. “My turn,” she said.
Agonizingly slowly, she moved down the front of his shirt, opening it one button at a time. When it was unbuttoned, she ran her fingers over his chest. Chuck closed his eyes and smiled, and then reopened them as she slipped his shirt and jacket off.
Kaylee then moved downward. Within two minutes, they were both as they had come into the world and in Chuck’s bed. Chuck lay on his back, with Kaylee lying gently on top of him.
“I’ve been waiting for this for a while,” Kaylee whispered.
“Believe me when I say that so have I,” Chuck replied with a smile.
Laughing softly, she sat up. Chuck watched, taking in her beauty. She looked so different in her engineering outfit – the black dress, and, well, her birthday suit made all the difference.
She slowly slid backwards and onto him. She gasped as he entered her, moaning softly and biting her lip.
This was definitely worth waiting for.
Outside the shuttle, Jayne crouched by the door trying to hear. He leaped up when Inara walked up behind him and smacked the back of his head. “What in hell are you doing here?” she whispered.
“Uh, just puttin’ this sign up,” he grunted. Smacking a piece of paper against the door, he walked away.
Inara read the paper and couldn’t help but laugh.
If this shuttle’s rockin’, don’t come a-knockin’!
12:15 A.M.
shuttle Enterprise
“This is not good,” Bryce said. “Casey’s lost a lot of blood. Major Lorenz barely has a pulse. Captain Tweedum’s okay for now, but he’s gonna need help.”
“Don’t worry about me,” Tweedum grunted through his pain. “Enterprise is hurt a hell of a lot worse than I am.”
“What do you mean?” Sarah asked.
“I mean, helm control is gone. I can power the engines up and down, but I can’t steer. Jumper control is gone. Life support… well, he fried the system.”
“What?!” Sarah gasped, her eyes widening.
“Yeah. We’ve got about two hours of oxygen remaining before we pass out from carbon dioxide poisoning,” Tweedum replied.
“Oh God,” Sarah whispered.
12:17 A.M.
transport Serenity
Kaylee lay next to Chuck, a satisfied smile on her face. “That was better than strawberries,” she breathed.
Chuck smiled too. “That’s good to hear,” he replied. “I was concerned – it had been awhile.”
Kaylee pushed herself up on her elbows and looked at Chuck. “How about that kiss you told me about that was better than sex? Was this better than that?”
Chuck thought for a moment, and then nodded. “Oh, yes,” he said with a smile. “This was WAY better than that.”
12:22 A.M.
shuttle Enterprise
“Do our radios still work?” Sarah asked anxiously.
“I think so,” Tweedum replied. “I’m not positive, but I don’t think the systems that went down affected the radios at all.”
Crossing to the front of the cockpit, Sarah pulled herself down into Major Lorenz’s seat and strapped herself in. She pulled on his headset, and then keyed the transmission button.
“Mayday, mayday,” she said. “This is shuttle Enterprise. We have lost helm control and life support. We have two critically wounded crew. We require immediate assistance.
“Please help us.”
