Tuesday, January 8, 2008

Sarah vs. the Vortex Chapter 1

2:30 A.M.

February 15th, 2008

Los Angeles, California

The last three months had not been particularly kind to Sarah Walker.

In mid-November, she had found herself in a situation where she thought she was looking death in the face. Thinking she had nothing to lose, she had planted a passionate kiss on Chuck Bartowski, which rapidly turned awkward when she realized they weren’t dead. Underneath the awkwardness, though, there was something about that kiss that had haunted her.

At the end of November, Bryce Larkin had come back from the dead to haunt her life again. Just as quickly, though, he dropped off the radar again.

In early December, Chuck had told her that he thought it would be for the best for both of them if they were to just be friends. Sarah, of course, could not argue with his logic, although a little tiny bit of her died inside when he simply shook her hand after Chuck’s drunken co-worker dangled mistletoe over their heads.

About a week after that, Sarah had seemingly been killed on a simple mission. However, an encounter with a baker with a bizarre gift had brought her back to life. During the course of that mission, there had been multiple occasions when Chuck and Sarah had found themselves in positions where things could’ve gotten very hot very quickly, but each time, Chuck had reiterated the “just friends” bit – although the last time, he had almost let it go too far.

On Christmas Eve, Chuck had been abducted. Fulcrum had stolen a bizarre, almost science-fiction device from Area 51, and used it to pitch Chuck far, far into the future. The NSA had whipped up a desperate, shot-in-the-dark mission to send Sarah and John Casey after Chuck, and amazingly, it had been successful. However, although they had returned to California a mere ten days after Chuck’s abduction, he had spent almost two months in the future.

Those two months had been long enough for Chuck to meet and fall in love with somebody else. However, he had made the decision that he was going to have to leave her behind because of his commitments to his family and friends on 21st century Earth. As a result, he had been fairly depressed for the last month or so.

On Valentine’s Day, Sarah had been hoping to surprise him, and take him out for the day – just as friends, of course. However, when she had arrived at his apartment that morning, Ellie had told him that he had left early – around 6:00 – and she wasn’t sure where he was headed to. He wasn’t at the Buy More, and she had gotten to a point where she was worried sick, until she got a call from Casey around 7:00 PM telling her that Chuck had dropped by his apartment.

Of course, Casey had just HAD to tell her why Chuck came by. Apparently, with the knowledge that the NSA still existed in the future time period he had been dropped into, he had put together a valentine for his “26th century sweetheart,” as Casey had insisted on calling her. He had gotten Casey to agree to put the valentine into the NSA archives, in the wild hope that it would be preserved and delivered on Valentine’s Day, 2520.

Having learned that, Sarah rapidly developed a severe stomachache. She blamed it on stress and having eaten something that didn’t agree with her, but the reality was that it was caused by a combination of jealousy, envy, and rage. Jealousy because she wasn’t the person receiving a valentine from Chuck, envy because nobody had ever cared enough about her to create a valentine like the one Chuck had made, let alone plan for it to be delivered years later, and rage, well, just because.

And so she had started walking. And walking. After a while, she found herself walking down Mulholland Drive, along the spine of the Hollywood Hills. Mulholland was dead at this time of night – cars passed by about once every twenty minutes, and one police cruiser had stopped to see if she needed help – and promptly driven away when she flashed her CIA ID and said she was alright.

Sarah had just crossed over Laurel Canyon Boulevard and was approaching Laurel Canyon Park when she heard what could only be described as a ruckus up ahead of her. Shouting, combined with squealing noises and then the sounds of stomping feet. Not knowing what lay ahead, she instinctively drew her gun.

As she continued to advance, a disheveled looking man with a wild mop of brown hair and a grease-streaked blue pinstripe suit came rushing around a curve. He nearly ran into Sarah, skidding as he came to a stop in front of her. In an almost irrelevant flash of observation, Sarah noticed that he wore Converse trainers, just like Chuck did.

“Hello!” the man said cheerfully, with a British accent. “Run!”

He grabbed Sarah’s hand and took off running, back east on Mulholland. Having no choice but to fall if she didn’t run, Sarah took off running after him. They went running back across Laurel Canyon, and then, with no warning, the man veered onto Woodrow Wilson Drive, nearly dislocating Sarah’s right shoulder in the process.

He pulled her behind a hedge and then peered out. As he did so, what could only be described as a small space ship went streaking by on Mulholland. Sarah felt like she should’ve been shocked to see it, but after all that had happened in the last couple of months – not much shocked her anymore.

“Well, that’s better,” the man said, pulling out a pair of glasses and placing them on his nose. He peered at Sarah. “They’ll be gone for awhile looking for me, and I’ll be able to get out of here.”

Sarah just looked at him. Finally, she spoke. “Who the hell are you, where did you come from, and what the hell is going on?”

He looked back at her, a look of dismay crossing his face. “Quite right, of course! How rude of me, not introducing myself.”

His face shifted into a brilliant, almost manic smile. “That was a Raxicoricofallapatorian, trying to capture me – turns out there’s a gigantic bounty on my head back on his planet. I personally came from the planet Gallifrey, but more recently from that blue box behind you.”

Sarah turned to see a blue wooden box, about seven feet tall, behind her. “POLICE CALL BOX,” the glowing panel at the top said. “Okay, seriously,” she said. “Am I drunk? High? Asleep?”

“None of the above!” the man replied, taking his glasses off and putting them inside his suit coat. “That’s my TARDIS – stands for Time And Relative Dimension In Space; if that’s too much of a mouthful for you, means ‘bigger on the inside’.”

He stuck out his hand. “Anyway, it was good to meet you, uh…”

“Sarah Walker,” she replied. “Central Intelligence Agency.”

His face fell as he realized the ramifications of who she worked for. “Oh dear,” he said.

“Now, you want to answer my question about who you are?”

“Oh, quite right!” he said, cheering up again.

What is it with this guy and his mood swings? Sarah thought.

He pulled out his glasses and perched them on his nose again. Looking at Sarah through his spectacles, he smiled, and then, as if making a grand proclamation, declared, “I’m the Doctor!”

Chuck vs. the Pie-Maker Chapter 4

“Chuck… Chuck! Wake up, Chuck!”

Chuck slowly swam upward toward consciousness. His eyes cracked open, and he saw two blurry John Caseys looking down at him.

“Hi, Casey,” he slurred drunkenly. “Did you know that Sarah has really big boobs?”

The NSA Agent looked upward, then to the right at Sarah Walker, whose face had taken on a look of pure astonishment. Unbidden, his eyes flicked downward toward Sarah’s chest. Her look of astonishment changed to a look of annoyance.

“Move,” she growled, pushing Casey out of the way.

As Chuck’s senses returned, he realized that Sarah was now standing above him, and also what he had just said out loud. “Aw, crap, I said that out loud, didn’t I?” he muttered.

Choosing the better part of valor over the shallow comments and actions of the two men, Sarah pressed on. “How’s your head, Chuck?” she asked, concern clearly present in her voice.

“It’s felt better,” he replied. “What happe… oh, yeah.”

Turning his head, he winced, the motion making his brain feel like it was rattling about in his skull. “You,” he said, pointing at Ned. “You need to be more careful when you’re around people you’ve brou-“

He was cut off suddenly as a strange woman covered his mouth with her hand. “You can’t say anything,” she whispered in his ear. She pointed at the short blonde woman who Ned had called “Olive.” “Olive doesn’t know.”

Chuck nodded, and the woman removed her hand from his mouth. “My name’s Charlotte Charles, but people call me Chuck,” she said, extending her hand.

Chuck unsteadily got to his feet. “Charles Bartowski,” he replied. “People call me Chuck too.”

“So I gathered,” she replied. “I will say, this could get confusing real quick.”

“Not as far as I’m concerned,” Casey cracked. “I’ll just call him Ugly Chuck.”

“Because you have so much room to talk,” Sarah Walker snarked at him. “Moving on… Chuck, how are you feeling?”

“I’m okay,” he said. “I feel a little dizzy… but otherwise okay.”

“I think perhaps we all need to sit down and have a little chat,” the voice of Emerson Cod drifted into the conversation. “It sounds like our stories are all interconnected-like, and we should probably figure out how this all works.”

“Agreed,” Ned said.

“Oooh, do I get to play too?” Olive Snook asked, the glee evident in her voice.

“No,” Ned and Emerson boomed simultaneously.

“I need you to clean the place up,” Ned continued. “Make it look like it did before the terrifying pie monkeys came to play.”

And so, Olive Snook found herself not only shut out of the conversation, but once again, spurned by the Pie Maker. She had found that her interaction with him had been cut to a minimum as of late. Was it perhaps due to her harboring of Chuck whilst she was upset with Ned? Or was she simply being punished for defending herself in an unorthodox manner against the rather unfriendly men of Fulcrum?

Emerson seated himself in his customary booth by the window. Sarah started to slide in after him, but Emerson stopped her.

“Uh-uh,” he said. “I do not share a booth with the undead. Both of y’all can sit on the other side.”

“Both?” Chuck and Sarah echoed, the two women looking at each other.

“Wait a second,” Sarah said.

“Are you telling me –“ Chuck was interrupted.

“He brought you back –“ Sarah replied.

“Why didn’t he touch you again –“

“I had a gun the size of a sixteen inch cannon from the USS Iowa to my head, that’s why!” Ned snapped. “And to answer your as yet unasked question, the person who died was a car thief who was trying to steal Emerson’s car.”

“That doesn’t make it any better!” Chuck replied, her voice taking on a tone of disapproval. “Somebody still had to die!”

“Uh, that would be my fault,” Chuck Bartowski said sheepishly. “When he brought her back, there was no way I could let him kill her again, so I held a gun to his head and threatened to kill him if he even tried it. I didn’t know that somebody else within the general proximity would die.”

“But wait,” Sarah said. “He brought you back, too?”

“Yeah,” Chuck replied. “I was killed on a cruise –“

“Oh yeah!” Chuck Bartowski interrupted. “I knew you looked familiar! You’re the Lonely Tourist!”

Chuck sighed in disgust. “You see?” she snapped at Emerson. “I TOLD you that’s how everybody was going to remember me! Lonely Tourist Charlotte Charles. I’m so sick of that!”

She took a moment, and breathed deep. “Sorry. Anyway. Ned brought me back to life to try to figure out who killed me, but when he saw me alive, he couldn’t bring himself to send me back, and, well, now I guess I’m kind of… well…”

“You’re his girlfriend,” Emerson huffed. “Good Lord, are you two lovestruck or just stupid?”

“Wait, wait, wait,” Casey said, a look of confusion on his face. “If you’re his girlfriend… but he can’t touch you, lest you die again… then, how do you… well…”

“Casey!” Sarah admonished him.

“Don’t ask,” Emerson interjected. “You so do not want to know.”

“Let’s just say it involves Saran Wrap,” Chuck giggled.

“Okay, really, that was far more than I needed to know,” Chuck Bartowski objected, getting up from the table. “Seriously. Can we stop talking about the sexual habits of the undead and try to figure out what the hell’s going on?”

Chuck returned to his seat at the table, and the six commenced discussing the truth of the matters at hand. It was quickly determined that the men of Fulcrum had found Charlotte Charles, discovered that she was the wrong Chuck, and had threatened to return to kill her if they didn’t find Chuck Bartowski. This simply served to increase the Pie Maker’s animosity toward the agents from Los Angeles, leading him to feel that their presence was solely responsible for Chuck’s life being in danger.

“That could’ve gone better,” Chuck said, as he stood outside, watching the snow fall.

Sarah had joined him outside. Casey was inside, on the phone with area hotels, trying to find a room.

“Yes, well,” Sarah replied. “I think it would’ve been better if I hadn’t died five minutes into the mission. Things wouldn’t be quite so sticky now.”

“It wasn’t your fault,” Chuck said immediately. “There’s no way you could’ve known that that Prius would zap you.”

“No, but I shouldn’t have just walked up and grabbed the handle,” Sarah said, frustration creeping into her voice. “It’s bad form for an intelligence agent. I just feel like I’ve been off my game lately. This whole Fulcrum thing has me on edge… I still feel confused about Bryce…”

She turned to Chuck, and as she spoke, a frustrated laugh escaped underneath her words. “And let me tell you, this whole ‘just friends’ thing isn’t exactly a walk in the park!”

Chuck turned to look at her, confusion evident on his face. “I… I’m not quite sure I follow,” he said.

Sarah put her hands on her hips and puffed her breath out through pursed lips. “Look,” she started, “in case you haven’t figured it out… I do, actually, like you. When I kissed you at the San Pedro Docks – yes, it was largely because I thought we were going to die. However, it wasn’t because you were the only pair of available lips – it was because I didn’t want to die without having let you know in some way how I felt about you.”

Chuck couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “And then, when Bryce showed up, it totally screwed my head up,” Sarah continued. “But as much as I still had feelings for Bryce, I had moved on from him, and I couldn’t let myself just go back. That actually had a lot to do with why my alarm clock got murdered – I couldn’t sleep that whole night, and when it went off – well, I just kind of snapped.”

Chuck smiled. “I sort of thought it might’ve had something to do with that,” he said. “But that still doesn’t explain…”

“When I walked into the Buy More Christmas party –“

“Holiday party,” Chuck automatically corrected her, not even realizing what he was doing.

“Whatever. The Festivus party. When I walked in… I was half hoping you were going to try to convince me that we should be more than just friends…”

Chuck looked at Sarah and sighed. “There is very little I would like more than that,” he said. “But it just wouldn’t work right now.”

Sarah’s face seemed to drop a little, and she cast her eyes down for a moment. “I know,” she responded quietly, looking back up. “But… it’s just so frustrating sometimes, not having somebody to be with… I mean, when Charlotte Charles mentioned Saran Wrap… the places my mind went…”

Chuck’s eyebrows shot up like a rocket. “Ooookay!” he said, backing away from Sarah. “Just friends, crazy woman!”

“I know that,” she replied, laughing. “But I’m pretty sure that as your friend, I’m still entitled to a hug when I’ve spent the day dying, being brought back to life, and having to deal with a somewhat… quirky… town.”

“Well, I SUPPOSE,” Chuck said, stepping back forward.

As Charles Bartowski embraced Sarah Walker, it seemed for a moment that all was well. But they did not go unwatched.

From the window of the restaurant, Charlotte Charles saw them embrace. She sighed, wishing that Ned was able to do that for her.

From the window of her apartment, Olive Snook saw them embrace. She too sighed, wishing that anybody would do that for her – preferably the Pie Maker, although she didn’t mind the looks of this Charles fellow.

And from the black Crown Victoria parked a block away, Frank Mullins saw them embrace. He too sighed, rolling his eyes, and asking once again why, oh why, he had drawn this ungodly assignment.

Looking nervously at his Seussian surroundings, Mullins spoke to nobody in particular.

“I do not like green eggs and ham… I do not like them, Sam I Am.”