Big Mike was aggravated.
It was not advisable to aggravate Big Mike. He often broke things when he was aggravated.
Right now, his wrath was directed toward the Nerd Herd. Jeff and Lester were busy trying to avoid him, while whining about how unfair it was that they were being targeted for their supervisor’s indiscretion.
Anna was too busy with Morgan in the break room to care. Nobody wanted to go anywhere near the break room.
As Big Mike sat stewing in his office, a beeping sounded from the fax machine. Big Mike turned and growled at it.
Instead of growling back, the fax machine simply spat out a piece of paper. Big Mike grabbed it.
Big Mike – sorry I didn’t call you. I had to go out of town unexpectedly. I need to take a few days off, but I’ll be back as soon as possible. – Chuck Bartowski
“What the hell, boy!” Big Mike yelled. He looked for a phone number in the fax header, to see if he could figure out where Bartowski was – no such luck; it was just XXX-XXX-XXXX. “Damn!”
“GRIMES!” he shouted, bursting out of his office like a small hurricane. “GRIMES, WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU?!”
He threw open the door to the break room – and his eyes nearly burst out of his head.
“Oh, that’s not right,” Big Mike whined. “I think I’m gonna be sick.”
Ellie, Devin, Sarah, and Casey finally left the hospital just after four o’clock. All four turned their cell phones on as soon as they exited the hospital.
Shortly thereafter, Ellie’s and Sarah’s phones both beeped, announcing new voicemails. Ellie held her phone to her ear to hear the new voicemails; Sarah used her iPhone to read the voicemail.
Ellie’s face broke into a huge smile as Sarah’s face creased in concern. Sarah hit the voicemail button and pressed her phone to her ear as Ellie started talking.
“I had voicemails from Chuck and Morgan,” she announced. “Chuck just wanted to let me know he’s okay, and Morgan was calling to say that a letter requesting a brief leave of absence was faxed to the Buy More.”
“That’s fantastic!” Sarah said, trying to be enthusiastic. “I got a voicemail from Chuck, too. I guess he’s okay.”
Sarah waited to get into the car as Ellie and Devin got in. “What is it, Walker?” Casey asked, noticing her reticence to get in.
“Somebody’s doing a very good fake job,” Sarah replied. “Back when Chuck and I first met, I taught him some code phrases to say every time he was on the phone with me, even if the message was completely unrelated to a mission. Some phrases say he’s okay, some say he’s under duress.”
“Was there a duress code in there?”
“No. There were none of the codes at all. It wasn’t Chuck.”
General Beckman had just about had it with Chuck Bartowski.
He was being such a pain in her ass, it wasn’t even funny. The fact that he had called her a “fucking bitch” and then kicked Director Graham in the groin aside, he was making her life miserable.
After disabling Director Graham, he’d gone back to his cell. He had taken the McDonald’s hamburger he’d been brought, took the patty, and rubbed it all over the doorknob, turning it into a greasy mess. The Army guards who brought him his dinner later had discovered this the hard way, not being able to get a grip on the door to open it when they tried to leave.
Chuck had then gone on another crotch-kicking spree, taking down two US Army soldiers, taking one of their M-16s, and getting the doorknob open by wrapping his hand in one of their berets. Beckman swore she was going to insist on all male visitors to Bartowski’s cell wearing protective cups.
But then it got worse. No, he didn’t take the M-16 out into the facility and go postal. Rather, he had just walked up and down the hallway outside his cell, firing short bursts into rather expensive electronic equipment, and making it quite clear to the surveillance mikes that he was going to continue to do so every ten seconds, unless…
Unless he got a copy of Guitar Hero.
So they got him a copy of Guitar Hero. Unfortunately, by the time they got it to him, he’d caused almost $200,000 worth of damage.
So what did he do? He started up Guitar Hero, and played it for four hours straight. General Beckman was convinced she was going to have Pearl Jam’s “Even Flow” stuck in her head for the rest of her life.
Then, when he was done assaulting her eardrums, he watched Apocalypse Now and The Departed back to back.
It was now 2:00 AM.
General Beckman didn’t dare leave the facility, because she knew that at some point Casey and Walker were going to call in. She was actually at a loss as to why they hadn’t yet. The only thing she knew was that they were ignoring all calls from both her and Director Graham.
When Director Graham came into the office, he found General Beckman with her head in her hands.
“I don’t know why you’re still here, if he makes you so crazy,” he said. “I’d have just left a long, long time ago.”
“Director Graham?”
“Yes?”
“You can feel free to tell me how to run this operation when I have my nuts on ice as well. Until that time, kindly keep your opinions to yourself.”
Sarah felt miserable. She had woken up with a roofie hangover, and now she’d been up for twenty-two hours straight. On top of that, she was scared to death for Chuck’s well-being. The guilt inside of her was almost unbearable.
“You should get some sleep, Walker,” Casey told her. It was probably the tenth time since they’d figured out what was going on that he had told her that.
Sarah had spent all afternoon trying to analyze the message from Chuck. She had come to no conclusion other than that Fulcrum or the Agency had taken him in.
Fulcrum agents had an ego problem. They would’ve contacted her or Casey right away and gloated. It had to be the Agency.
Her Agency had betrayed her. Worse still, it had betrayed Chuck.
“Seriously, Walker.”
“Alright, John,” she said. Then she stopped short. “I must be really tired if I’m calling you John.”
“My point exactly,” he replied. “Good night.”
He exited her hotel room and headed down the hall. As he did so, he pulled out his cell phone and dialed.
“Beckman.”
“General, this is John Casey.”
“Major Casey, it is about goddamn time you made contact. What’s your situation?”
“Bartowski’s been abducted, ma’am.”
“And why didn’t you report this immediately?!”
“Because you did it, ma’am.”
There was silence at the other end of the line.
“Yeah, that silence was the wrong answer, ma’am.”
“It’s for his own good, Casey.”
“Respectfully, I don’t think you’d recognize his own good if it hit you in the face with a two by four, ma’am.”
Casey disconnected, turned on his heel, and headed back to Sarah’s hotel room. He pounded on the door.
She answered, having already changed into pajamas and put a sleep mask on her head. “That was quick.”
“I just got confirmation from General Beckman.”
Sarah immediately became alert again. “Well, that settles that,” she declared. She turned around, headed to the dresser, and began pulling out guns and ammunition. “I am not letting them keep him penned up in some facility just because he got hit with the unlucky stick one day.”
“What are you gonna do, Walker? Walk into whatever facility he’s in and pull him out? You don’t even know which facility he’s in!”
“It doesn’t matter, Casey. He’s getting out.”
He sighed. He shook his head. “Well, you’re gonna need backup.”
She stopped. “What?”
“You’re gonna need backup, Walker. You can’t go into an Agency facility by yourself and expect to walk out unscathed.”
“And you of all people are going to help me. Casey, half the time you can’t stand Chuck.”
“Walker, let me ask you something. Did you swear an oath when you joined the CIA?”
“No. What difference does it make?”
“When I received my commission in the United States Air Force eighteen years ago, I swore an oath,” Casey informed her. “That oath said that I would, to the best of my ability, preserve, protect, and defend the Constitution of the United States of America. So help me God.
“Bartowski is an American citizen. His Constitutional rights have been strewn from here to next Christmas. I cannot simply stand by and watch that happen.”
“So you’re going to go help break Chuck out because he isn’t getting life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness?”
“That’s about the long and short of it, Walker,” Casey growled. “At least I’m not going off on some rash jailbreak simply because the guy makes me horny.”
Sarah turned to face him, a look of shock on her face. “Let me tell you something, Major Casey,” she hissed, stepping toward him.
“What, Agent Walker?”
SMACK.
She stepped back. “I feel better now.”
Casey rubbed his right cheek. “That’s gonna leave a mark.”
“Good.”
“You ready?”
“You’re not getting the last word, Casey. Get out. I’ll tell you when I’m ready.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“GET OUT!”
