2:30 P.M., Pacific Daylight Time
Thursday, September 25th, 2008
Forest Lawn Memorial Cemetery
Los Angeles, California
Raindrops spattered the windshield of the Aston Martin as it headed eastbound on the Ventura Freeway. The fact that they were in an Aston Martin DB-7 was itself absurd.
However, two weeks earlier, a little birdie named Bryce Larkin had put a bug into Veronica Mars’ ear that as she had been seconded to the NSA as Chuck’s handler, she no longer had to drive a crappy Chrysler LeBaron.
“But it’s my second one!” Veronica protested. “It’s just like my first car!”
Bryce then proceeded to explain that when he meant she could get a new car, he was talking a new car in the neighborhood of, oh, say, a Dodge Viper – if she really wanted to stick with the Chrysler products.
Veronica went to get herself a new spy car. And she took Chuck with her.
She originally wanted a Porsche 911 – black. Chuck had said he didn’t think that was the right car for her. She insisted, said it was a car she’d wanted ever since she was a kid in Neptune.
Eventually, Chuck had flown off the handle. He snapped, and yelled at her, telling her that the 911 was the car Sarah used to drive, and he wasn’t going to ride in one that wasn’t being driven by Sarah Walker.
Veronica ended up buying the Aston Martin because it looked cool, and because it was the car James Bond drove. Chuck tried to ignore that factor, simply because that’s kind of how he’d thought of Sarah – as the female James Bond.
His brain was wracked with a million thoughts as the car drew closer and closer to Forest Lawn Memorial Cemetery. The last time he’d set foot on the grounds was on February 28th – the day of Sarah’s memorial service.
Everybody else had been to the headstone since then – Casey, Bryce, Carina, Ellie, Devin, even Morgan. But for some reason, Chuck hadn’t been able to bring himself to go back.
Today, though – today was different. It was on this day in 2007 – one year before – that he had first met Sarah Walker.
He couldn’t allow himself to go past this date without visiting the grave. He had to go, had to visit the only woman who he’d ever allowed himself to love with no reservations.
Chuck shuddered as Veronica headed off the freeway. They were close – so close.
She reached the end of the ramp, and turned right onto Forest Lawn Drive. The road ran along the edge of the cemetery. Chuck looked past Veronica out the driver’s window as they drove past.
The contrast to the last time he had been here was marked. Back on February 28th, the day had had a light overcast – a marine layer that had finally been broken through. The trees, the plants, even the rye grass had all been a brilliant green.
Today, though, it was raining. Gray, dreary clouds filled the skies. And ironically, the vegetation had suffered through the summer from hell – drought, combined with fires in Griffith Park, had exposed it all to sun, smoke, fire retardant, heat. The cemetery truly looked like a place of death.
Veronica took a left turn onto Memorial Drive and kept going a little further. “It’s right up here,” Chuck said quietly.
A moment later, she drew the car to a stop. Chuck unbuckled his seatbelt and prepared to get out. “Do you want me to come with you?” Veronica asked gently.
Chuck shook his head and opened the door. Several drops of rain spattered on the arm of his jacket as he began to get out. “Do you at least want to take the umbrella?” she asked.
Chuck shook his head again. He closed the door and started walking across the drenched, scorched grass toward the grave of Sarah Walker.
When he reached the gravesite, he was astonished. The headstone was surrounded in flowers. Each bouquet had a card attached. One was from Morgan. Another from Ellie and Devin. There was one from Bryce, one from Casey. Casey’s was made up of red, white, and blue flowers and had a tiny plastic handgun holding it together.
Chuck laughed at the absurdity of Casey’s bouquet, but it sounded hollow. He stood there for a moment, just looking down at the headstone.
It looked exactly the same as it had seven months beforehand. It still said, “Sarah Walker, June 14, 1982 – January 30, 2008, Leader, Lifesaver, Loving Friend”. Nobody had touched it, nobody had vandalized it – although Chuck was pretty sure that if somebody had, John Casey would’ve slowly and painfully dismembered that individual.
“Hi,” he finally said. “I… I’m sorry I haven’t visited. It’s been, well, busy.”
Chuck sighed. This was ridiculous. He was talking to a gravestone, and yet he found himself nervous, as if he was really seeing Sarah for the first time in seven months.
“I don’t know if you can hear me,” he continued. “I don’t know if there’s a heaven, but you’ve got me really hoping that there is. You know, it’s ironic that of all things, your death would get me back to church – hoping that I can find my way back to you someday.”
He wiped the rain from his forehead. “I sold my first video game a little while back,” he said. “Not a very original premise – it’s about this computer geek who gets a massive government database accidentally stuck in his head.”
In his mind’s eye, Chuck could see how Sarah would react – she’d shake her head and give him a sort of half-laugh, but she’d have this twinkle in her eyes that it always filled him with utter joy to see. “I’m sure you’d think it’s ridiculous,” he went on, “but I had to design the female character so that she didn’t look like you. I – I just didn’t want to share you with anybody else. I know, it’s selfish, but I had so little time with you – I just, I can’t give any of that away.”
He leaned his head back – that was a mistake. Chuck rapidly brought his head back down, wiping the rain out of his eyes – or was it tears? A combination of the two?
He wasn’t sure. “They finally gave me a new handler,” he said. “I moved out of the apartment complex, and it just would’ve looked weird if Casey had followed me to my new place, so they sent this FBI agent. She actually reminds me a lot of you – just, like, eight inches shorter.”
Chuck smiled. “The most ridiculous part of it is when I hug her – and yes, I hug her, she’s my friend. You know, when I used to hug you, your head fit perfectly right under my chin. I loved that. Veronica, on the other hand – she barely comes up to the middle of my chest.
“That’s her name, Veronica Mars,” Chuck continued. “She’s a really nice girl, and a fantastic friend… but she just doesn’t… I don’t know. I’m always happy to see her, but whenever I used to see you, it made the world seem like it was perfect.
“By the way,” he said, “your Porsche – I’ve still got it. Devin has this storage unit out in Arcadia, where he keeps this beautiful Shelby Mustang, and it was big enough for two cars. It’s there. It’s been there since… well, since that day. I’ve never driven it, though. I don’t know if I ever will – I just wouldn’t feel right, being in that car without you in it.”
He smiled. “It’s really too bad you’re not going to be around this weekend – Ellie and Devin are tying the knot on Saturday. You should see Ellie’s dress – it’s unbelievable.”
Chuck’s smile got a little bigger. “I’m gonna let you in on a little secret,” he said with a laugh. “Captain Awesome let himself be a little more awesome than he should’ve been. See, I’m gonna be an uncle somewhere around Easter or so, and that’s only about, well, six and a half months after the wedding.”
He shook his head. “Ellie isn’t showing yet, and she doesn’t know that I know, but I saw the test, and then Devin got drunk and spilled the whole thing to me and Casey.”
He blew out his breath slowly. “You know, it was a year ago today that we met for the first time. You came into the Buy More with your broken phone – you never told me just what happened to it, by the way, although I wouldn’t be surprised if you’d screwed it up on some big spy mission.”
Chuck brought his hands to his face, slowly steepling them over his mouth. “That red leather jacket, those Abercrombie jeans – yes, I knew they were Abercrombie jeans – I loved it when you wore that combination. I mean, I always thought you were beautiful, but that combination – there was just something so incredibly sexy about it.”
He smiled again. “Although, there is something to be said for that outfit you wore on our first ‘date’ – you know, the one that you were able to hide a small arsenal inside of?”
Chuck sighed. “Hell of a first date that was, huh? I mean, you take down an NSA strike team, then we end up getting chased through downtown Los Angeles by Casey? I mean, for God’s sake, the night ended with me downloading a porn virus to a laptop to disable a bomb. Who does that?!”
He crouched down, resting his hand on the top of the headstone. “Sometimes, I get this feeling like you’re still alive,” he said. “I don’t know why, because I know better. You’re gone.”
Chuck shook his head, trying to ignore the tears that were building in his eyes. “But sometimes, sometimes I just feel like you’re standing behind me. I feel like you’re looking at me from across the room. I feel like I’m going to walk into the Wienerlicious, and you’re going to be there, wearing that ridiculous outfit.”
The tears started to flow freely down his cheeks. “I just wish I knew why you’d done it,” he said. “You didn’t have to do it. Whatever was wrong, all you had to do was tell me. I know, I know, you were the big, bad CIA agent, but all you had to do was tell me what was wrong. I would’ve fixed it. I would’ve done anything for you.”
That was what broke the dam, as a sob escaped from his chest. He lost it then, falling to his knees. As the sobs came, he buried his head underneath his arms, hoping that it would all be a lie, a dream that he could wake up from.
He was barely aware of Veronica running across the cemetery, calling his name. When she crouched down next to him and wrapped an arm around his shoulders, he latched onto her as though he were a drowning man and she were a life preserver.
Chuck buried his head in her chest and sobbed for nearly ten minutes. When he finally stopped, he was drained of energy. His head drooped, his eyes aimed at the ground.
“Come on,” Veronica said quietly. “Let’s get out of the rain, okay?”
He didn’t say anything, just quietly acquiesced. He slowly stood to his feet as she slipped her hand into his and led him away from the gravesite.
2:45 P.M.
The Avalon Hotel
Avalon, Santa Catalina Island, California
The same rainstorm that was drenching Los Angeles was also causing it to be a gloomy day on Catalina Island. Everybody was inside, cursing the rainstorm.
Everybody except for one person.
Beth Reynolds sat at her computer. She was unable to move, transfixed by what she had just seen.
Against Director Graham’s advice, she had convinced a CIA tech to set her up with a little program that would pop up a notice on her MacBook whenever the motion detector on the surveillance camera at Forest Lawn Cemetery was activated. If somebody visited the gravesite of Sarah Walker, Beth would know about it.
It rarely activated, and when it did, it was almost always the groundskeeper. Occasionally, she saw Morgan, or Casey, or Ellie come by to leave a bouquet.
But this time, it had been Chuck. Beth had sat there, unable to tear her eyes away, as he stood there and talked to Sarah’s headstone.
She had heard every word that Chuck said. She watched, helpless, as he broke down, his body wracked with grief. She watched with sadness, and yes, a little bit of jealousy as Veronica Mars held Chuck, comforted him, and led him away.
Five minutes after Chuck had left the gravesite, Beth still sat there, eyes fixed on the computer. Finally, she broke from her reverie.
She gently closed the computer, stood, and wandered into the bedroom. She lay down on the king size bed, listening to the storm lash the hotel.
As the rain fell on Southern California, Beth Reynolds softly cried herself to sleep.
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