8:02 A.M.
July 12th, 2008
In his dreams, Chuck was playing Super Mario Brothers. On an old, old Super Nintendo. And it was awesome.
Except… the theme kept playing the same passage of music over and over. Chuck cocked his head, and then realized that he was asleep, and that that was his phone ringing.
Swimming up out of sleep, Chuck opened his eyes and grabbed his phone. “Yallo?”
At the sound of his voice, a head popped up next to him. Kaylee.
“Chuck, it’s Morgan.”
“Hey, what’s up, buddy?”
Kaylee stretched a little, then pushed herself up with her good arm – her left arm, careful to keep from straining her right arm. As she did so, the blanket covering both her and Chuck slid downward. We seem to be naked, Chuck thought.
“There’s a problem,” Morgan replied.
“What kind of problem?” Chuck asked, his brow furrowing. And then, with no warning, Kaylee started doing something with her left hand that made it very difficult for Chuck to concentrate.
Chuck looked at her with a “what the hell are you doing” look, and she just smiled innocently back at him.
“You’re about to have company,” Morgan replied.
“Ah, what do you mean? When?”
“I mean, Jayne Cobb is going to walk in your door in about five seconds.”
“Oh shit.”
And the door burst open. “Good morning sunshine!” Jayne boomed.
Kaylee screamed and dived under the covers. Chuck’s eyes went wide, and Jayne realized what was going on.
“Uhhh… I’ll… I’ll just be out here,” he stammered.
The door slammed shut. Chuck lifted the covers and peered in at Kaylee. “Didn’t you people ever knock onboard Serenity?” he asked indignantly.
“I always locked my door,” she replied. “That never once happened to me.”
“What’s going on, Jayne?” they could hear Mal ask through the door.
“Uh, nothing, Captain, uh, technical difficulties.”
Then they heard Zoe’s voice. “You know, I’m gonna go out on a limb and guess that this lacy pink thong does not belong to Chuck Bartowski.”
“Lacy pink what?!” Mal shouted.
“Oh, crap,” Chuck said matter-of-factly. “Your clothes are scattered all over my living room.”
“So are yours,” Kaylee replied with a giggle. “We were kind of aggressive in tearing them off of each other.”
“Yeah,” said Chuck, “but I have more clothes in here. You don’t.”
About two minutes later, the bedroom door opened. Chuck appeared, looking mostly normal in an Atari t-shirt and jeans. Kaylee, on the other hand, emerged wearing one of his dress shirts and a pair of his boxers.
Nobody spoke. Jayne, Mal, Zoe, River, and Simon all looked at them with looks ranging from “Die Chuck!” to “I’ll be in my bunk.”
Morgan spoke up. “So… good morning, Chuck?”
“Morning, Morgan,” Chuck replied, an edge in his voice. “Why is there a crew of space pirates in my living room?”
“They insisted on coming to see you,” Morgan said weakly.
“Morgan,” Chuck started, “you have the National Security Agency, the Federal Bureau of Investigation, and the Los Angeles County Sheriff’s Department at your disposal, and yet somehow, a crew of banged up space crooks overrode you?”
“Actually, a CIA Deputy Director did,” came Sarah’s voice as she walked in the front door. “I needed to come down here and talk to you, and they came along. Hi, Kaylee.”
“Hi, Sarah,” Kaylee said softly, trying to hide behind Chuck.
“Would it be safe to assume that she’s responsible for the $11,000 total charge we got from the
“Come on,” Chuck said. “That’s what the card is for. If you want me to pay –“
Sarah cut him off. “You took her to the
Chuck’s mouth kept moving, but no words came out. Finally, he managed to spit out, “What?”
“Kaylee, you clearly need some girls to take you shopping,” Sarah said, turning her attention away from Chuck. “How would you feel about coming with me, Zoe, River, and Chuck’s sister to
“I have no idea what that is, but it sounds fancy,” Kaylee breathed.
“Wait a second,” Chuck interrupted. “She just spent $11,000 at the
“Is that a problem, Director Bartowski?” Sarah asked pointedly.
“Uh, nope.”
“Good,” Sarah stated. “Kaylee, you might want to… um… put more clothes on. We’ll leave the boys to have fun together.”
“What the hell does that mean?” asked Chuck.
“Whatever it means is not my problem,” Sarah said. “Don’t get in any trouble.”
Sarah turned and swept back out the door, Zoe and River in her wake.
“Well…” Kaylee stopped for a moment. Then, standing on her tiptoes, she kissed Chuck. “Bye!”
She strode out the door, retrieving her clothes from a very confused looking Simon as she went.
There was an awkward silence as Chuck stood facing Morgan, Mal, Jayne, and Simon. “So,” he said.
“So,” Mal replied. “That was an… interesting… ensemble Kaylee was wearing.”
“Yep,” Chuck said.
“I also found it interesting that her clothes were all over your living room.”
Chuck rolled his eyes. “Oh, give me a break. I’d say it’s pretty apparent that this was not the first time we’d slept together.”
“Yeah, but here’s the thing,” said Mal, slowly walking up to Chuck until he was just a few inches away from him. “She’s been around you for a week after being away from you for seven years. She just got out of the hospital yesterday. And somehow, she’s already in your bed.”
Mal kept his voice very quiet through all of that, but there was a dangerous glint in his eyes.
Chuck backed up a little, lifting his hands as if he were trying to create a barrier. “Look, Mal, she’s a big girl. She can take care of herself. There’s a standing threat that she’ll crush my balls with a pliers if I ever hurt her.”
“A threat that I’m assuming was made after you kicked her to the curb on Persephone.”
“That was ten years ago, Mal,” Chuck replied in exasperation.
“Seven.”
“WHATEVER,” Chuck grated. “Being protective of Kaylee when she was in her early 20’s is one thing. But she’s 33, Mal. I think she can handle herself.”
“Are you telling me how to treat my crew?” Mal asked, cocking his head in a curious fashion.
“Oh, Jesus H. Christ,” Chuck snapped. “This is ridiculous.”
Mal stared at him for a moment longer – and then burst out laughing. “Had you goin’ there, didn’t I?”
Chuck just looked back at him. “What the hell is wrong with you people!”
9:15 A.M.
Marine Corps Air Station
Bob Richter wasn’t sure what the hell he was supposed to do. After the late night phone call, he had quietly taken vacation and made his way across the country to the armpit of the Southwest.
Now he stood on the tarmac at MCAS Yuma, waiting for the helicopter that was supposed to be landing. And there it was, right on schedule.
The jet black Sikorsky Blackhawk swooped in from the northwest. The venerable 60 series helicopter had replaced almost every utility helicopter in the
Richter steeled himself as the rotor spooled down and the door opened. Out stepped a man he hadn’t seen in years… or at least, who he thought was a man he hadn’t seen in years. Something about him didn’t look quite right.
Bob looked carefully at Francis Xavier Mullins as he crossed the tarmac. Something about him looked… looked fake.
“Hello, Bob,” Frank Mullins said. “How are you doing?”
His voice didn’t sound quite right either. “Frank,” Bob said, “what happened to you?”
Mullins didn’t say anything. He just reached up to his head, placed his right hand on the center of his head, and his left just under his chin – and removed the entire right hand portion of his face, revealing metal underneath with what looked like a camera where his eye should’ve been.
Bob Richter’s eyes went wide and his stomach turned over. “What… the… fuck.”
Mullins smiled, and it looked grotesque with half of his face off. “Frank… please… put your face back on,” Bob said.
“No problem, Bob,” he replied. He slid the prosthetic face portion back on. “Now, as far as what happened to me, do you remember the mission almost eleven years ago to disappear Chuck Bartowski to a different time period?”
“Of course,” Bob said. “I’m the one who got the device out of Area 51.”
“Well, let’s just say that Bryce Larkin managed to get his hands on the device after that,” Mullins rasped, his voice making Bob wince. “And he got me in the back of his car when he utilized it.”
“So…”
“So I got taken to the 26th century with Mr. Larkin,” Mullins raged, his voice still quiet but his anger growing more and more evident. “He met up with Sarah Walker and John Casey, and they locked me up in their modified space shuttle. I tried to escape, and Sarah Walker shot me. Through the face.
“So that’s why I look like this, Bob,” he finished, a sneer crossing the organic part of his face. “Your DD(I) shot me in the face.”
“Frank, calm down,” Bob said.
“No, fuck you,” Mullins shouted at him. “I got left for dead in the 26th century. I’m alive only because there are still Fulcrum elements around in the NSA 500 years from now!”
He took a deep breath, and composed himself. “I happened to meet a gentleman there who has a bone to pick with the crew of a certain spaceship that helped a certain walking Intersect get back to the 21st century. So, we worked together, knocked that ship back in time to now. It crashed outside of
Bob’s jaw dropped. “That was YOU?”
“Oh yeah,” Mullins replied. “Me, and this gentleman.”
A well-dressed black man stepped out of the helicopter. “Morning,” he said, a calmness in his voice. “Nice to meet you, Agent Richter.”
Richter didn’t know what to do, so he tried just being polite. “And you, Mr…”
“Early,” he replied. “Jubal Early.”
12:21 P.M.
Rodeo Dr. &
“I feel a little guilty,” Ellie commented. “It seems like we’ve collectively spent the gross domestic product of a small third world nation.”
“Five women on
Zoe, River, and Kaylee had all gone a little crazy. Sarah’s Amex had gotten quite the workout. But it was okay.
The sound of a low-flying helicopter startled Sarah. She looked up to see a Blackhawk streak overhead at a very low altitude. “What the hell?” she said.
As she watched, it landed at the intersection of Little Santa Monica Blvd. She turned around to see another landing at the intersection of
“Call:
The moment the phone was answered, she started talking. “This is Peregrine,” she said. “We are condition black.”
She hung up the phone, and the four members of her CIA protective detail came running out into the street. As they did so, men in unmarked riot gear jumped out of the helicopters – six from each.
They were all carrying strange looking guns, and as Sarah watched, they took down her protective detail – with electronic darts. “Tasers,” she breathed involuntarily.
The people on
Inside of a minute, the dozen men had encircled her, Ellie, Kaylee, Zoe, and River. Sarah’s gun was out, pointed at nobody in particular, but up and cocked, ready to fire at a moment’s notice.
“Forget it, Director,” a vaguely mechanical yet vaguely familiar voice came from inside one of the helmets. “You’ll never get out of here.”
The speaker removed his helmet. Sarah recognized him immediately. “Mullins,” she breathed.
Stepping up to him, she put her gun against his forehead. “I killed you once, I’m happy to do it ag-“
There was an electronic buzz, and Sarah collapsed to the street, a dart in her back. The man who had fired stepped up to the group, and removed his helmet.
“Hello, River,” he said, his voice menacing.
River’s eyes went wide at the sight of Jubal Early standing in front of her. She panicked, turned, and ran – and got about three steps before Early put an electronic dart into her back as well.
“You bastard!” Kaylee shouted, stepping forward and raising her hand to backhand Early across the face, but he just looked at her and shook his head.
“I wouldn’t, Kaylee,” he said softly. “I made you a promise last time I saw you. Do you remember that promise?”
Kaylee’s eyes widened in fear, and she seemed to shrink as she stepped back, almost trying to conceal herself behind Zoe.
“Get them in the helicopters,” Mullins ordered. “Kill anybody who tries to stop you.”
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